Another area that did have massive discord within was a working situation. Now after just over three years since walking away from the taxi base -things. Some things, have finally begun to settle down.
In that time though I found a place that I could be creative. Without the mess. There was enough clutter here in the physical spaces, let alone in my mind. No more mess was needed. What was needed was a change of pace, place, and mindset. As I had no money to move and no energy to pack the place this meant staying too and changing things around. The office space was altered over ten times within the three years. There are photos taken to prove this transition as well. Now the water paints, the paint brushes, and other art things are in the old caravan.
Many things from the closure of the voluntary children’s area were dumped in my lounge room, dining room and external sheds. And the caravan. These were leftovers from that stuff that went into the opportunity shops. Hay! We filled so many trailers that went to the dump. That cost us. Then the voluntary goods bins were taken away. That left the place where I ‘slept’ during the on-call working hours!
The mental clutter began to sport itself gradually out over time. With help from people online. Being a person active within the physical community was a fearful experience. Noises, sounds, smells, and just people had me closing off just for protection. If I had continued to push myself out there, medications would have been required. Now that was not going to happen… Many people on the Autism spectrum will know what it is like to get to this point of overload. Yet they are at a point where to af=dmit that this is what it is like is more frightening than not speaking about it.