Did you know that the way a neurotypical person sees the world is entirely different from want verses need from an autistic person view of the world? Did you know that at times this chasm causes one, or the other, to withdraw and lick ‘tend to their wounds.” Did you know that even adults are no different from children when trying to understand their reactions to what is said, done or shown them?
What would happen if there ever came a time where the two could meet and actually act like a counter-balance for the other?
Let’s check out want verses need from an autistic person view
“A reserved girl who says she wants you does not mean to offend you for a long time
ago she got over needing anyone. The fact that she wants you is far more generous of the heart than just a need that needs to be fulfilled”.
In other words, while the need has been accepted as filled the want is purely inclusive of yourself within her life. This is how people, like myself who are on the Autism Spectrum see other people, achievements and things within this world. The viewpoint makes them question life, what they see and feel in an entirely unique to themselves way. The next step is to mentally sift through any thread to self. That situation in the all clear, and trust is in place, you are onto a winning streak. With one little difference …..Do not louse it up.
Point to note should you be the one that is wanted, check into your own needs factors. The recipient of this want may try to unintentionally force the need to be needed upon the Autistic person. Which may be “the straw that brakes the camels back” as far as the tenuous communication links that are happening. Then she, in this example will withdraw as you, the needy, have not recognized the advancement of the ‘want.’
Understand the language of the “want versus need for an autistic person” and you are more than half way past most others. Very often the person on the Autism Spectrum has learned not to rock the boat. Understanding will come at a later time. Most probably at the oddest of times.
Should you have gotten used to a little mess while an activity is being sorted, done and completed – watch out when you arrive back home and,, the place is spotless. It’s not so much Obsessive Compulsive Disorder [aka OCD] that has hit home. What may have concluded is the first activity that no distraction was going to be impeding upon. That activity has now finished and the house work gets done. Famly life carries on.
The same things tend to happen with learning a next skill set.
While thoroughly exploring one idea there are different tangents gone down. The creative, logical sequences just put up with. What comes from the little knowledge gleaned before the mind went wandering down rabbit warrens is amazing. Maybe not all that was wanted. If it were at school, the grade would read a failure. Then that too is taken on board by many. Eventually believed. And that is sad to see. The belief in ones was self-removed.
As the saying goes… make hay while the sun shines. Careful with the information overload. Let that takes its natural course. A skilled mentor and teacher will be able to still the mind. The instructions imparted as the trust and holistic effect of communications is tuned into. The one whose leading and the one whose following. Should you have seen the film the “Horse Whisperer” you will understand those precious moments when time stands still. The information has realigned all the thought into concepts. This myriad of thoughts.
There will be times where the house will be half done and your find her cleaning out a cupboard. Or that is half done and she’s sleeping the overload off. Just leave her alone while the regrouping of self is occurring. At other times, she will need to be heald. So just hold her and let her cry. The tears will just drip from her eyes. One night, two nights three night or more. Then one day she will let you know the score.
You see the bonds that bind are for a lifetime. Maybe more. And yet she has moved on. In whole yet not in part. That is confusion for the neuro-typicals heart. Not understanding the depth, breadth, and strength of that, there, autistic heart.
Come on in as this too is your invitation to meet some of the crew! They are wonderful. Again this is from an Autistic person point of view!!!
Be well my friend.
Have a terrifically uplifting day