The Me I had forgotten about
The first thirty-one years of my existence here on earth was all about the me I had forgotten about. A truck impacted on my vehicle and there went that me. The next twenty-five years people got used to persecuting me for some things that I neither knew about nor was consciously aware of either knowing nor doing.
In fact, what had happened before the impact took twenty to twenty-five years after that impact to really and truly start placing things together. Yes, there was the pain radiating
flashbacks as the me I had forgotten about struggled to come back. These resulted in a natural sleep so deep I had trouble waking up afterwards. Or I just catapulted out of where I had knotted off in and tried to focus through something like liquid molasses onto something that was solid…. and real.
As a small child, the energy balls came to visit. Everyone I knew was able to play with them. They just grew away from them. My inner child totally enjoyed these energy balls as they were friends. And quite frankly they did not cause pain like the real world did.
What was different about me to other people. Well, that took up to the forty-ninth of my life to place together. “Susan, you are a High Functioning Autistic. Somewhere on the upper end of the Autism Spectrum”. And a further five years to start a course that would gently yet firmly open and connect the me I had forgotten about with the present me. Thus, I now have an ME, who has the best of everything. The joys, and the sorrows, frustrations and the excitement of achievements. out the hard times, the fun times. Even the balance between the happy and sad times.
The early days were filled with exploring this world’s energy !
The one thing that has carried me through everything is a commitment that I made when I
was fourteen [ or there abouts]. Again the me I had forgotten about somehow knew that commitment came from my ethos. That ethos was shaped in a belief so deep that I still try to live by and through this to this day.
Throughout the life from then to now this ‘mana’ are still there. Other cultures call these balls of light Prana.
The depths within you need to travel with to find who you are
No matter what has been of the past, that is where it stays with each and every one of us. Until that place to sort yourself out is faced, challenged and a change strength is found.
Respected and known with gratitude to have become a member of the Six Figure Mentors Community. As this community and its members have helped provide the glue that stuck the invisible jigsaw pieces together that were my of lost and evasive ever present invisible past.
This post is written as a reach out to people who have had severe memory loss times. The people who know what it is to straddle between an enforced here and now. Yet have had to stand on the precipice of a past unknown. Accepting that some things are so ingrained within your personality that even with a deep memory loss they surface. For myself it was pictures. The love of creating pictures. Taking photos of buildings, statues, plants, trees… just not people. And then wondering what to do with these. So they remained files within external hard drives until I could being to utilize them. And now the tools to do this are here. All under one roof.
Secondly this post is also written with the acknowledgment of a celebration. The picture at the beginning of this post is a mixture of a still visual from a video image filmed when I was participating in a ninety day SFM video challenge late in 2014 or the beginning of 2015. The background is a background from the Digital Business Lounges GraphixCreator.
The books template is a template from the GraphixCreator range as well. With a few basic skills shared from friends, the training and other members of the community [ and the support team] The beginning of the focus to present a paper at the United Nations [ target fate is 2019] re Autism as A Gift.
Have a terrifically uplifting day
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